What’s in a Name?

Home Education, Homeschool, Home-centered learning… There are many names for taking your children out of a traditional brick-and-mortar school. There are, however, people who are particular about terminology. If you homeschool you are not tied to the government in any way (meaning your children are not enrolled in a online charter school) and you do not attend a hybrid or micro school. You are 100% the teacher, financier, and administrator of your child’s education.

If you are a part of an online public charter school (like Braintree, Open Ed, etc) then you are not considered a homeschooler, even if you create a personalized education, do all your learning at home or community, if you are receiving funding from the government an your child is enrolled in an online school then you would technically be doing “home education” or “home-centered learning.”

Why Would I Want to Homeschool? What Are the Benefits?

Homeschool, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

Now, let me be honest. I am very biased when it comes to homeschool. I was homeschooled for most of my education, besides taking a  few classes at my public high school. And I’ve been homeschooling my own kids for six years now. But I did substitute teach during my college years and I got a glimpse into what the public school looks like from the teacher’s perspective. 

I just want to point out that I got a “glimpse,” not a full understanding or experience as a full-time teacher, which is very different. I also studied child development in college, and I’ve been a faithful student of development and science since graduating. So I do know what the ideal learning environment should look like. 

This is what I know:

Benefits of Homeschool

Education should be personal. Children are born persons and should be allowed to move at their own pace when it comes to skill-based subjects, like math and reading. Science and research shows that children aren’t actually ready for reading and abstract concepts until the age of nine or ten. This is when reading and mathematics come easily and they learn so quickly they are not “behind” kids their age that learned at five or six. By homeschooling you can personalize education so your child is always challenged, but not frustrated. They can learn when they’re ready and take a break when they need it. 

Children need to play. No, this is not just a bonus, or a frilly idea. Children absolutely need to play to develop their eye muscles, their brain, their imagination, and social skills. We spend so much time and money on  programs to help kids who are “behind” when in reality they simply need more time to play and develop! Their vestibular systems, their eye muscles, and even parts of their brain that are needed for reading and math are developed by physical play outside. By homeschooling you can give your kids that time to play before starting school, and give them 5-7 hours of unstructured play time every day (as recommended by pediatric OT Angela Hanscom in her book Barefoot and Balanced).

Flexibility is important. Homeschooling gives you the flexibility to live where you want, travel when you want, and live the life you want. Many parents are finding that their lives are tied to the schools’ schedules, and classroom learning is considered more important than real-life learning. Want to travel to Europe for a month to visit world heritage sites, experience different cultures, learn basic phrases in multiple languages, and see classic works of art? No, you can’t miss that much school. The schools receive money based on daily attendance. They make it a priority to get your child sitting in class daily, even if it means they miss out on even greater learning opportunities. 

You can give your children a high-quality education. I want to make it clear that this is a possible, not a guaranteed, benefit. You can absolutely give your child a better education than is possible in public schools. I’ve spoken to many students and heard from teachers that instead of reading entire books, many high school literature classes simply read excerpts and prioritize modern literature over classics. One of my friend’s children said she read a graphic novel version of Frankenstein in her HS class. There are many opportunities in public high schools that aren’t available at home, like clubs and sports, but when it comes to the basics, you can give your child a much better education than is available at school. It comes down to the fact that your child is getting one-on-one tutoring every day, either from you or someone you hire from the community (or online!). 

But everything comes with a cost. So, what are the costs, or challenges of homeschool? 

Challenges of Homeschool

First and foremost, you have less alone time. Even when you account for all the time you save not making lunches, helping with homework, sitting in the pick-up line, you still have less “me” time than you would if your kids were at school most of the day. However, I’ve noticed that my kids are happy to do their own thing, and I always have someone to watch or help with the little ones so I can exercise or just take a walk for 30 minutes. 

A messier home. Learning is messy, there’s no way around it. When you have multiple children experimenting, reading, learning, playing, the house looks lived in. Sometimes mine looks like every natural disaster targeted a 3rd grade science fair, and trying to keep it clean during the day is like shoveling snow in a snowstorm. I teach my children good habits (well, I try), but eventually I had to choose which was more important: a perpetually clean house or well-educated, curious, happy children. It really comes down to that. There is a time and a season for everything; I’m currently in the season of messy learning. 

Separating school and home. This one is hard, and I’m not sure there is a solution. When you’re at school you are in an environment that is made only for classroom work. When you come home you are in an environment of play and relaxation. When you homeschool you have to figure out how to learn in your play and relaxation environment. My boys are getting up 20 times during a lesson to get a drink, go to the bathroom, read a book, or do all three at the same time. My advice would be to learn how to make learning a part of your life. Don’t think of it as a classroom, but as making learning a life-long pursuit that fits in your everyday life. Read aloud a book while the kids draw, or eat breakfast. Make lessons short and have playbreaks to release energy. For my son with ADHD he does his learning in my bedroom where there are little or no distractions. This has worked wonderfully, and I suggest doing something like this for kids that are highly distractible. 

Separating mother and teacher. We tend to think that we have to manage our children’s behavior like a teacher when we begin teaching at home. We treat school like a classroom and we treat our children like students. Then our children rebel because they want their comforting mother, not a teacher. 

How do we find a balance? I can say from experience that it is extremely difficult, and this one is probably the hardest for me, personally. What I’ve discovered (and I’m still trying to achieve) is the role of mentor and fellow student. Instead of thinking of myself as the “showman of the universe,” the giver of all knowledge, I am a fellow student on this journey of life, learning and growing alongside my children. I am their mother, and I am their mentor. I can be a teacher, but I need to throw away the traditional role of teacher (you know, the one that lectures about what they’ve learned and you try to read their mind when they ask questions), and adopt the idea of a teacher that introduces the child to the best books, puts them in the way of learning opportunities, asks them thought-provoking questions, engages in deep and meaning discussions, and shares what they’ve learned, but most importantly listens to what their child’s learning. 

Finding friends.This one can be hard for the kids, especially as they get older. Kids naturally want, and need, to play with other kids. They get lots of play time with siblings, if they have them, but what about other kids? What about the dreaded socialization? 

My own children meet kids at church, library, sports, and other extracurricular activities. I make an effort to schedule playdates after lunch for my kids to have lots of unstructured playtime with other kids. I think the best memory I’ll have from motherhood is my boys dragging me across the playground toward another child who is dragging his mom across the playground for us exchange numbers for future playdates. There are so many co-ops, hybrid and micro schools, and other groups for your kids to meet and play with other children. Look on Facebook or online and you’ll find some. My favorite way is to simply go out in public during school hours and look for moms with kids, without fail they are fellow homeschoolers. 

Homework

Now, it’s time for your homework. Every week I’ll give you an assignment(s). These are the small, actionable steps toward being ready to homeschool by September 💪

1. Write down why you are homeschooling. Don’t phrase it in a way of fear, however. Phrase it by what you love. E.g. “I love learning and I want to learn with my kids.” Or, “I love and believe in the power of play, I want my children to have a playful childhood.”
2. Look up your state laws, follow the protocol: Homeschool Laws by State
3. Research online charter schools and other online public-funded options – Braintree and Open Ed are two options that are available in multiple states. 
4. Look up homeschool groups in your community. Check Facebook groups (your town or county + homeschool). You can look up a Wild + Free group in your area, or start attending homeschool activities at the library.